


Living in Trust

by katambrosius



Series: Taking Control [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bed-Wetting, Bladder Control, Comfort, Deliberate Wetting, Desperation, Desperation Play, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Explicit Consent, Flashbacks, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Omorashi, Past Child Abuse, Pee, Wetting, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 08:10:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11596554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katambrosius/pseuds/katambrosius
Summary: The main sequel to Taking Control (and Giving it Away)Victor and Yuuri are happily married and just becoming comfortable with their now shared omorashi kink.  This fic follows them as they explore it.  There will be lots of desperation, squirming, cuddles, love, and warmth, with a little bit of background plot.ON HIATUS





	1. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor gives full control of his bladder to Yuuri for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though consent isn’t shown to be given in this chapter, it was a pre-planned game that Yuuri and Victor had already talked about in depth. (That doesn’t mean that some things aren’t accidentally skipped…)

Yuuri trailed his hand under Victor’s shirt, down the smooth pale skin curving from his waist to his hip, letting his thumb teasingly skim the skin above his bursting bladder. They were lying in bed together, even though it was midmorning, and Victor had been given permission to pee once already. Yuuri had been kind, and let him go to the bathroom reasonably soon after he’d gotten up, but now he wanted to see his husband squirm a little first.

Well, he’d prefer it if the squirming was involuntary. He loved it most when Victor fought against his potty dance, he loved it when Victor pretended he wasn’t completely desperate to pee. He’d asked his husband to stay still, and Victor was doing a very good job. He was shivering, even shaking slightly on top of the sheets, covers scrunched at the end of the bed, and his legs were squeezed tightly together, but he wasn’t squirming. Not _yet_. 

Yuuri stroked him again, this time above his clothes, from his cheek down to the top of his trembling thigh. Victor’s jeans had ridden down, and were low on his hips. Yuuri lifted his shirt slightly, and he could just see the little bulge of his bladder, straining against the skin. It was such an attractive sight. Yuuri didn’t think Victor ever looked better than when his abdomen was round and swollen with pee. 

A slight gasp passed Victor’s lips as Yuuri cupped the swell gently, not pressing, just holding. He rubbed his thighs together and bit his lip, hips moving only slightly as his bladder pulsed. 

“Roll onto your back?” Yuuri asked, and Victor scrunched his eyes closed as he complied.

Victor’s bladder was even more obvious as he lay on his back, and Yuuri lent up on his arm for a better view. He smiled appreciatively as Victor lifted his shirt and sucked in his stomach to show it off.

“So beautiful, Vitya, so beautiful and perfect.”

“Yuuri,” Victor whined, and pulled his knees up, nearly crossing one over the other as he pressed his thighs together desperately, his feet spread apart to balance him. Yuuri again reached out to touch the swell, and it was the final straw. Victor’s control over his body broke, his hands flying to grab himself as his hips swayed from side to side. “Yuuri, please can I pee, please?”

Yuuri hesitated a moment, just to drink in the sight, but he nodded. “Yes, Vitya. You can go pee now.”

Yuuri struggled to believe that someone nearly overflowing with piss could move so quickly, but move he did, and Yuuri had to hurry to follow him into the bathroom, leaning against the door as Victor groaned with relief. He looked so alluring, head tilted back, hair falling gently as he moved, his sounds of relief echoed around the room, and Yuuri was once again reminded that his husband was one of the most amazing people on Earth. 

When Victor had finished, washed his hands, and sheepishly put his belt (that he had taken off half an hour ago) back on, they headed to the kitchen. Yuuri caught Victor’s wince at the sight of the large glass on the counter. He’d downed two of those that morning, and a cup of tea. Yuuri suspected that it wouldn’t be long before he needed to pee again anyway, so he didn’t ask Victor to drink it. 

The next time Victor asked if he could pee was only half an hour later. They’d been sitting on the couch, trying to decide what movie to watch, and Victor had gone from feeling fine to completely full very quickly. Yuuri loved the way Victor was squirming against him, but decided to let him go anyway, he didn’t want Victor to hurt himself. He did have a glass of water ready for when he got back though, he didn’t want to make this too easy for Victor. 

They settled on The Hobbit, cuddling on the couch, but about half way through, just before the company arrived in Rivendell, Yuuri felt Victor start to squirm beneath him. 

“Ssh, still.”

“But Yuuri, I need to pee.”

“Wait, I don’t want to interrupt this scene. You can go when they leave.”

Victor huffed in his ear, and went back to watching the movie. Yuuri smirked to himself as he remembered just how many water scenes were to come. Victor seemed to have forgotten, but as the waterfalls of Rivendell came on screen, he tensed and moaned. Yuuri slipped his thigh down between Victor’s, forcing them open.

“You can hold it.”

Victor nodded, but he snuck a hand down to hold himself when he thought Yuuri wasn’t looking.

The movie moved on far too quickly for Yuuri’s liking, and he paused it reluctantly. He had to help Victor to the bathroom, as he nearly wet himself when he stood, but he made it. There was a small wet patch at his crotch, but neither of them mentioned it, and they settled back down for the rest of the movie. Yuuri told Victor he could go again when the credits finished if he needed to, and the moment the last name rolled off the screen, he was pushing Yuuri to get up so he could pee again. 

Yuuri decided that it was probably time to give him some more water soon, as most of what he’d already drank must have gone through him. He gave Victor the tall glass of water, and he sipped at it while Yuuri made them lunch. Half an hour after they finished eating, about forty-five minutes after Victor had last peed, Yuuri asked him how he was feeling.

“Full, but I can hold it a bit.”

“Even if I do this?” Yuuri moved quickly and wrapped his arms around Victor from behind, startling him slightly as his forearms pressed into his bladder firmly. 

“Oooh, okay, I felt that.” Yuuri tightened his hold. “Ahh, Yuuri! Why are you being mean?”

“I like it when you need to pee.”

“Mm, I know.”

“I don’t want you to pee yet.”

“I can hold it, for you.”

That earned him a kiss. Yuuri spun Victor around and latched onto him, moaning when Victor squirmed against him as they kissed. 

“You’re perfect,” Yuuri mumbled against his lips.

“I know.”

That earned Victor a hard poke in the bladder, which caused him to double over, his hands shoved in his crotch. 

“I just leaked! Yuuri, let me pee now? Please? I’m going to wet myself.”

Yuuri didn’t answer immediately, pulling his husband back against him. Victor’s squirming was too delicious, he just wanted to enjoy the moment for a little bit longer. A burst of hot liquid spread between them, and Victor gasped in his ear, moaning and quietly begging himself to hold just a little longer. 

“It’s alright, Love. Let go now. Let go here.”

Victor didn’t need any more permission than that, and sank against him as he released. Yuuri simply held him, rubbing his back and whispering reassurances. When Victor finished, both their jeans and socks wet and squishy, he pulled back with a sheepish smile. 

“Am I in trouble? Did that count as peeing without your permission?”

“No, Vitya. You were so good. Let’s go get you cleaned up, okay?”

“Mmhm.”

Yuuri asked Victor to run the bath after he’d been rinsed off, and went to get him some more water. This time, there would be no permission. He was going to enjoy waiting until Victor just couldn’t hold it any longer. 

They didn’t spend long in the bath. Both of them were hungry, and it was well past lunch time. There were leftovers in the fridge, and Yuuri heated them up while Victor checked his social media. While Yuuri had been a little more active in the past years, he still didn’t devote the amount of time Victor did. Honestly, he just loved sitting with a cup of tea, watching as Victor’s expression changed with each post, comment, or question. Sometimes they’d cuddle on the couch or in bed, Yuuri leaning on Victor’s shoulder. Maybe they could do that for the afternoon. He had plans for later, but for now…

Lunch was nice enough for leftovers, and Yuuri piled the plates in the sink, looking appreciatively at the accumulating stack. They’d been too busy to bother with washing yesterday, but that was definitely working in his favour now. They settled down on the couch, and Yuuri let his eyes drift shut as he curled up against Victor. 

He dosed on and off for a little while, but woke up fully at an involuntary squeak from Victor when he accidentally pressed against his bladder. He pressed again, looking up to meet Victor’s wide eyes and smirking. 

“Hold it.”

Victor nodded. Yuuri gestured towards the kitchen.

“Your turn to do the dishes, Vitya.”

The whine that came from Victor’s lips was probably the highlight of Yuuri’s day.

Yuuri knew he was being cruel, making Victor run the water barely faster than a trickle, and telling him to check the temperature with his fingers every few moments, but it was just so fun. Victor was doing the cutest little potty dance, his legs crossing and uncrossing as he bobbed up and down. The trickle of water really did sound like pee, it almost made Yuuri want to run off to the toilet.

Yuuri finally let Victor turn the tap off, but then his hands had to dip into the water as he cleaned. Victor’s lip was between his teeth, a cute little wrinkle on his brow, his feet shuffling on the floor as he squirmed. Yuuri hopped up on the counter and swung his legs as he watched the scene before him. Victor really was unbelievably attractive when he needed to pee. 

The sloshing of the water must have been pure torture. There wasn’t all that much to wash, but anytime Victor missed a spot, Yuuri was quick to point it out and make him wash the dish again. Once or twice he asked Victor to rewash a dish just for the sake of it. He loved the way Victor’s face was flushed with concentration and embarrassment, Victor was always so cute when he was embarrassed. Yuuri hoped to see it more often. Usually it was Victor embarrassing him.

When Victor sucked in a breath and froze in place, Yuuri was almost positive that he’d leaked. His eyes went wide before scrunching closed, and his face twisted as he bent forward at the waist. Yuuri didn’t see until he straightened back up with a moan, but there was definitely a little wet patch at Victor’s crotch. 

“Please, please can I go to the bathroom now?”

“No. You still have one dish to wash, and then you need to dry them and put them away.”

“Yuuuurrriiiii, I’m going to wet myself!”

“You’d better not. Not when I’ve told you to hold it.” Yuuri slid down from the counter and trailed his hand down Victor’s back gently. “Not one more drop, Vitya. Hold it.”

“I don’t think I can-”

“Hold. It.”

Victor’s thighs were shaking, but he did as he was told, and carefully washed the last dish, nearly yanking his hands out of the water and scrambling to dry them. Yuuri was glad that they hadn’t been using their special dishes, the way Victor was shaking he wouldn’t be surprised if one or two were dropped and smashed. 

Victor moved slowly, his feet shuffling as he carried plates and cups to their cupboards. Luckily he didn’t have very far to go, and he was tall enough to not have to reach too high. He was putting the last glass in the cupboard above his head when he suddenly tensed, and the glass slipped from his hand as he moved to grip his crotch. The glass banged against the bench top, and bounced once before rolling on its side. There were no cracks, the glass was fine, but Victor was not.

He was absolutely writhing in desperation. What must have been a wave of need had turned into a startled leak as the glass hit the bench, and Yuuri watched as Victor struggled to contain the piss slowly spreading down his jeans. 

“Did I say you could pee yet?” There was no response, just a defeated whine. “Hold it, Vitya.” The stream didn’t stop, didn’t even slow, but it didn’t increase either. Yuuri could hardly believe the control Victor was showing for him.

“I-I can’t- I-” Victor gasped as he sank to his knees, a puddle rapidly spreading around him as his hands fell away from his crotch. 

Yuuri knelt beside him, pulling him into a tight hug as the last few drops dribbled out. He covered Victor’s flushed face in kisses and massaged his sore belly. 

“I’m sorry, Yuuri. I tried, I really did.” He sounded so honestly disappointed in himself, and it made Yuuri’s heart ache. 

“No, Vitya, I wanted you to wet yourself. I just wanted to see how long you could wait. I’m sorry, did you hurt yourself? Please don’t be upset with me, my love, I promise I’m proud of you.”

“I pleased you?”

“Yeah, you were amazing. I could hardly believe you kept holding as long as you did, Vitya I- I’d already decided not to give you permission this time. Was that too far? Did I push you?”

Victor took in some deep breaths, and buried his head against Yuuri’s chest. As Yuuri pulled him even closer, he tried to take reassurance from the fact that Victor wasn’t pulling away. He’d be pulling away if he hated him, wouldn’t he?

“I’m okay, I wasn’t expecting you to make me wet myself like that, but it was okay.” 

Victor’s voice was soft, barely more than a murmur, and Yuuri whispered apologies into his hair and asked for forgiveness. 

“I’m not upset, Yuuri.” Victor looked up, and Yuuri was relieved to see that his eyes were dry and clear. “I actually liked it, in a way, but I prefer it when you at least give me permission to wet myself. It’s a game, and I don’t like feeling like I lost. I’m too competitive for that, even against myself.”

“You didn’t lose, you very much won that game. I’m pretty sure I’m also a winner. So no completely denying you then?”

“Maybe just special occasions.”

“I think I’d like that.”

Yuuri helped Victor to his feet, wincing at the mess that he really didn’t feel like cleaning up. He just wanted to hold his husband close. Victor must have seen his disgruntled expression, and he laughed. 

“I’m getting in the shower. When you finish cleaning, I’ll let you join me.”

“Okay!” Suddenly cleaning didn’t seem so bad, and Yuuri nearly knocked Victor back to the floor in his rush to get an old towel. 

Yuuri didn’t make Victor hold again that afternoon. His idiot husband kept insisting on asking for permission (“The game’s not over yet, Yuuri.”), but Yuuri made sure he went as soon as he felt the slightest need. He really didn’t want to hurt Victor, and his bladder had been stretched enough already. 

They watched some more movies, switching them constantly (even if they were only part way through) as soon as they got bored, and joked around. They paid nearly constant attention to each other, not wanting to lose contact, and Yuuri thought he might explode with happiness. 

He’d never ever thought that his life would be like this. That he’d be a top figure skater, being coached by Victor Nikiforov, Victor _Katsuki_ -Nikiforov, his husband, his best friend and the love of his life. He’d never thought that he could be so content with his place, with everything and everyone around him. He’d never thought that he would be so happy with himself, who he’d become and what he’d achieved. Yuuri had certainly never expected to be able to play out his omorashi fantasies with Victor, but here they were. Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please read, there won’t be another long note, I promise!**
> 
> Just a please note to readers to be careful if you want to experiment with omorashi. This is a work of fiction (obviously), and I do not have a medical degree, so I can’t know for certain whether any of their games would have negative effects. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, so please do some research if you want to try omo in real life.
> 
> As you already know, this work is going to stay rather tame on the kink side, and will not include any explicit sex or nudity, just vague descriptions and hints. I’d like to accomodate those who don’t really want to mix omorashi and sex all the time, and my request to you is that you also respect that and keep the comments clean. If you have an explicit request or a request for other characters, I’m happy to hear them, but please leave your comment on a different work. The parallel (explicit) sequel, _Surrendering Further_ is an excellent place for such requests. Thank you for reading this, I appreciate your support.


	2. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long day of holding has consequences for Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Peanut, who has inspired me and encouraged me right from the beginning. (And came up with the base idea for this, so thanks Peanut!) I am aiming to update this work once a week (around Friday), but these next two chapters are shorter than usual, so I'm posting them both this week :)

Living in Hasetsu felt like a dream come true. The off season had been a desperately needed break after the intensity of the last season, and Yuuri’s body needed to rest and recover ready for his final year as a competitor. Yuuri still trained, though it was gentler and more focused on maintaining muscle memory than working too hard on any one thing, and he still ran almost every day, though in the early evening, not the morning. Victor valued their early morning cuddles far too much to sacrifice Yuuri to a run every day. 

Yuuri had gained just a little bit of weight, like he did most years, but not enough that it was noticeable through his clothes. He was still Yuuri; strong, slim, adorable, and devilishly handsome, just a little softer around the edges. It was the type of weight that would drop right off within the first few weeks of proper training, so neither of them worried too much. Yuuri was comfortable, and Victor loved the way his husband looked with full cheeks and a slightly rounded stomach. Not to mention the cuddles. 

Victor Nikiforov loved to cuddle. It was no secret. He hugged all his rink mates before he met Yuuri, and after, he could hardly be pulled from his husband’s side if he was in a clingy mood. The only way Victor would let go was if Yuuri asked him to. Fortunately that didn’t happen very often, and Victor was able to hug and squeeze and practically smother his softer husband with affection whenever he wanted, which was most of the time. 

He loved it so much that he could hardly sleep if he wasn’t in enough contact with Yuuri, so they fell asleep spooned together, and woke up in a tangled mess, usually with Yuuri laughing as Victor struggled to free himself in his rush to the bathroom. Not too long ago, Victor would have thought the situation was anything but funny, but after all they’d done together, seeing Yuuri’s teasing smirk as he sheepishly climbed back into bed only brought a slight blush to his cheeks. Yuuri would kiss him softly and pull him into his arms, and they would cuddle up to each other for as long as they could get away with.

One of the best things about the off season, Victor decided as he curled around Yuuri on a Friday night, about a month after they’d moved, was actually getting to take a proper break on weekends. Yuuri had absolutely no training to do. Instead, they would spend the days relaxing together, watching movies, reading, walking around town, shopping, catching up with their friends and family, and just making time to do the things that mattered. Yuuri shuddered slightly as Victor’s cold hands slid up under his shirt to smooth over his belly, and he whined in complaint, but didn’t pull away. Victor pressed a few kisses to his neck, and they drifted off to sleep.

Warm. That was Victor’s first thought when he woke up. The second was that Yuuri’s face was hovering above his, a hand on his shoulder shaking him slightly. He blinked slightly as he struggled to wake up, and became suddenly aware that the pleasant warm sensation he’d noticed before was also wet. 

“Vitya, love, wake up.”

He bolted up, his forehead nearly colliding with Yuuri’s. His first instinct was panic, he’d wet the bed? Why had it happened, how would he clean it up, how would Yuuri react, what would he _think_? Victor forced himself to slow down and take a deep breath. Yuuri’s hand was stroking down his back, he wasn’t pulling away. Yuuri _liked_ piss, so he wasn’t going to be disgusted. He also knew why it had happened; they’d played yesterday, and Victor had drank lots of water all day, having to ask for permission every time he wanted to use the bathroom. It had still been a strain on his bladder, and wetting the bed wasn’t as much of a surprise as it would have been otherwise. There was also a plastic sheet protecter over the mattress, so he only had to worry about the sheets. 

A few more deep breaths, and Yuuri’s hand stroking him reassuringly, and Victor was nearly calm. He met Yuuri’s gaze, a slight flush across his cheeks, and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry?”

Yuuri only laughed lightly, and lent in to kiss him on the nose. 

“Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault. It’s nearly six anyway, you must have been really desperate in your sleep, I almost wish I’d been able to watch you squirm.”

Victor felt his face heat further. “Didn’t you get enough of that yesterday?”  
“I could never get enough, you’re just too cute.” Yuuri kissed him on the lips that time. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. Bath or shower?”

“If we have to get up soon anyway, can we have a bath?”

“Sure, you rinse off in the shower, and I’ll change the sheets. You can start running the bath if I take too long, okay?”

Victor nodded, wincing slightly as he climbed gingerly out of the rapidly cooling sheets. He may be growing to enjoy the desperation, and even the initial wetting, but cold, wet piss would forever gross him out a little. _The things I do for my husband_ , he thought to himself as he padded to the bathroom and stripped off, though he had to admit that if feeling icky was the price for enjoying this kink with Yuuri, he’d gladly pay it. 

The shower felt heavenly, as it always did, and Victor sighed as he let out the last bit of urine still inside him, blushing as he realised what he’d done, and checking to make sure Yuuri hadn’t come in. He hadn’t, so Victor was safe for now. He sighed again in relief, his whole body feeling good, like he could melt into a puddle and be washed down the drain. He paused, that was a weird thought, it must be too early. He couldn’t help but laugh as he shut of the water and stepped out onto his favourite fluffy bathmat. 

Well, it was his second favourite, to be honest, but Yuuri had turned so bright red at the sight of his favourite (which just happened to have a particularly alluring picture of said skater on it), and threatened to send it to Yurio to destroy, so he’d relented, tucked it away in storage (to try again later), and settled on a lovely white mat with golden swirls.

Victor didn’t bother trying to dry off at all, and simply turned the hot water on full blast for the bath. It was impossible to get a nice temperature from the tap, so he’d just add some cold when it was closer to full. That was when Yuuri had come in, completely naked, obviously having put his sleep clothes in with the washing, scooped up Victor’s sopping clothes, and walked straight back out. Victor stared at his retreating ass so intensely that he forgot how close his hand was to the water and ended up burning his finger slightly. He cursed as he pulled away to run it under some cold water from the sink, his other hand rubbing his abdomen where his bladder was still sore from the last twenty four hours. 

As much as he loved the game, he was very glad that they didn’t play it often. He was pretty sure his bladder wouldn’t cope. 

Yuuri startled him from his thoughts with cold hands around his waist, and he squealed as he twisted away and turned the cold on for the bath. When the temperature was finally perfect, they slipped in, Victor stretched out and his back pressed against Yuuri as the hot water washed away any remaining ickiness and discomfort. He was content in his husband’s arms, and he snuggled back, pulling Yuuri’s arms tighter around him, he wanted to be held. 

They didn’t speak, they didn’t need too. Yuuri’s soft touches and kisses said everything, and Victor just let himself bask in the attention and closeness. He never wanted to get out. The day before, while rather uncomfortable for him, had been amazing, and though he realised it wouldn’t be any time too soon, he longed to do it again. He loved it when Yuuri told him when he could and couldn’t use the bathroom, and he knew without a doubt that Yuuri loved it too. Not too long ago the thought would have terrified him, but his trust in Yuuri was so strong that he couldn’t be afraid. He had taken back control of his bladder, his body, and he was willingly sharing that with his husband. It was freeing experience, and he knew it was helping him emotionally. 

That was a lot of the reason why Victor realised he had something else to come clean about. He couldn’t hide it from Yuuri forever, and while his husband knew some things, and certainly all true, he didn’t know everything. It was time for a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you liked it, please leave kudos and a comment on your way out. Also, requests are very welcome, so please don't be shy.


	3. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor comes clean about some traumatic memories from his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can (and should) skip this chapter if discussion of past child abuse upsets you. Also, because Victor is discussing his past, there is a possibility that this could be seen as underage, but given the circumstances, I'm not going to tag the whole work with it.

“Do you remember the first time we showered together?”

Yuuri lifted his head from where it was resting comfortably on Victor’s chest to look up at his husband. Remember? How could he forget? He nodded dumbly. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?”

“That must have been awkward for you.”

It had been, of course it had been. Yuuri fought down a blush as he remembered the way Victor’s body had acted without conscious thought, his bladder emptying as the hot water cascaded over him. He hadn’t even noticed until he’d caught Yuuri’s eye, the younger skater staring wide eyed. Victor had stumbled back in horror, his face turning all shades of red as tears of humiliation gathered in his eyes. Yuuri had tried to reassure him, but his words had had no affect, and it had been an overall awful experience. 

Yuuri had never wanted to admit that he had been initially turned on, and now it looked like he wouldn’t have to. 

Victor’s eyes seemed glued to his, even as he tried to avoid them, but he was eventually forced to look up. He couldn’t stop the blush at the intensity of Victor’s gaze, and he buried his head back against Victor’s shirt. 

“Why are you bringing this up now?”

“I wanted to explain why it happened.”

“You did explain.”

“I made up an excuse.” Victor paused, and Yuuri looked back up. “I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Victor’s face was so open and sincere, and Yuuri’s heart melted. He lent forward to kiss Victor’s nose lightly, and then touched their lips together as he snuggled back into his husband’s embrace.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“Thank you. Will you listen?”

“Of course, Vitya. Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Victor only shook his head and took a deep breath. Yuuri stayed silent and let him tell his tale.

“You know now that my bladder has always been pitifully small, and you’ve probably guessed that it was worse when I was younger.” Yuuri nodded. “I’ve told you that I wet the bed well into my teens, and that my parents were less than supportive.” Again, Yuuri could do nothing but nod, anger building in his chest at the thought of the damage the elder Nikiforovs had inflicted on their son.

“On the nights that I didn’t, I always woke up so desperate, and I would stumble to the toilet, half blind with sleep, and piss. It was so loud, Yuuri, it was awfully embarrassing, and I used to be so terrified that my parents could hear me.” Victor stopped, maybe to collect his thoughts, and Yuuri started to stroke his side soothingly, his hand lingering around his husband’s waist. 

“I used to dread going to bed, because I knew that no matter what happened it would be awful, and it just wouldn’t get better. I was about fourteen at this point, and I have no idea why my body had so much trouble waking up when I needed to go, why it still does. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted my parents to be proud of me, and they couldn’t while they still saw me as a childish bedwetter. It was horrible, and I was so ashamed. 

“One week I woke up wet every morning, it seemed to be the last straw for them. They raved about how disappointed they were. They said all kinds of things, threatening to lock me out of the bathroom and make me ask for permission, to force me to learn some control, or saying that if I couldn’t learn on my own that they’d tell everyone what a baby I was. I couldn’t stop crying, and that only made them worse. Even though I doubt they meant any of it, and they were just threatening me out of despair, I’d never been so embarrassed. Then my father said the worst thing he ever could.

“He said, ‘It’s not like you can’t wait ‘til the morning, half the time it’s the first thing we hear when we wake up.’ I’ve never been able to get those words out of my head.”

Victor’s breath choked off with emotion, and Yuuri sat up and pulled his husband into his arms, reversing their position to provide Victor with more comfort. He stroked gently up and down his back, rocking them back and forth as he tried to be soothing and empathetic. Yuuri was way out of his depth. He’d known that Victor’s childhood had been anything but perfect, especially regarding his bladder and his parents’ lack of support, but he hadn’t realised it had been so abusive. 

There was no other word for it. There were no excuses. He was glad that Victor’s parents weren't trying to be involved in his life anymore, because Yuuri doubted he’d be able to stand by and let that happen. One of their promises when they’d been married was to always protect each other from emotional harm. They had weaknesses, and their fame made them vulnerable. Cradling a sobbing Victor really drove that home for Yuuri, and he made those promises all over again. 

“The next morning, I woke up dry, but really desperate.” Yuuri threaded his fingers through Victor’s hair. Victor sniffed, and snuggled into his embrace as he made himself continue. “I rushed to the toilet like usual, but I couldn’t let go. My father’s words were echoing around my head, and my bladder sealed so tight I thought I would explode before I could let go. 

“I went back to bed. I remember rolling around, clutching myself in desperation. I think I cried. Looking back I would guess that I did. I tried a few more times, but nothing would come out. I was so desperate, and I was starting to panic. Eventually, my mother called up and asked if I was going to school, I hadn’t the day before, and I gave up and rushed to the shower. I didn’t really have much hope, but I knew if it didn’t work I would either wet myself or burst my bladder. 

“It came out the instant the hot water hit my skin. The relief was so overwhelming I almost fell over. I remember thinking that Yakov would kill me if I broke a leg from slipping in the shower.” They both chuckled at that. Yakov would have been upset indeed. Yuuri leant forward to kiss the tears from Victor’s cheeks, and Victor closed his eyes. There was another pause as he gathered his thoughts, and Yuuri did nothing to rush him, simply stroking him and murmuring over and over how much he loved him.

“I could never pee in the toilet in the morning again. Not at home at least. By the time I moved out and was living on my own, my bladder would empty almost instinctually in the shower. It didn’t matter whether I was desperate, or if I’d been only ten minutes ago, I would always pee. After a while I didn’t even think about it, it was just something I did. Until it happened with you.”

Yuuri sat up and made Victor look him in the eye. “Thank you for telling me this, Love. I know it can’t have been easy.”

“It was easier than I thought it would be. I really do trust you, Yuuri, you know that.”

“Is there any particular reason you wanted to tell me now?”

This time Victor’s blush was not from his tears, or from the lingering embarrassment his parents had caused him. He flushed from his neck to his ears and looked away shyly. Yuuri nearly cooed at how cute he looked, but he knew it wasn’t the time, so he forced down his reaction. 

“Well, I wondered, with recent developments, if you’d liked it. Then I remembered that you always put my comfort first, and I’m sure when you realised how distressed I was that that would have been the last thing on your mind. It took me a lot of effort to not keep doing it, and I’m sure it would be really easy to start again…” Victor trailed off awkwardly and smiled sheepishly up at him. “If you wanted me to, that is.”

Yuuri blinked, his mouth falling open slightly. Victor wanted to do this for him? He went through the pain of telling that story so that he could possibly please Yuuri? Yuuri’s heart was fluttering in his chest, and his stomach heated at the thought of seeing Victor release like that every morning, the idea was like a dream come true. Yuuri berated himself for being so selfish. 

“Vitya, you’re already doing so much for me. Are you sure you’d be comfortable doing this?”

“It’s natural for me, I was only embarrassed because I knew it wasn’t socially acceptable. I’d be fine doing it with you there.”

“You’re sure?”

Victor laughed, all traces of pain gone from his face, and he sat up to kiss Yuuri properly.

“I’m sure. I want to. It’s still a lot of work to hold it in, even if I go right before.”

Yuuri moved so that he was straddling his husband, and worked his fingers under his shirt to rest around his waist, thumbs rubbing over his abdomen where his bladder was.

“I wonder how you would feel if I pushed you under the hot, running, water with a desperately full bladder and told you that I didn’t want you to pee yet?” Yuuri smirked down at Victor, delighting in the dazed look that passed over his face before it was replaced with an answering smirk.

“I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Afore mentioned shower scene will (eventually) be in _Surrendering Further_ , not this work.


	4. Control (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri returns the favour, surrendering his bladder to Victor for a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though there is no consent shown to be given here, this game was a pre-planned activity for the day, and Victor and Yuuri talked about Yuuri’s comfort and limits earlier.

Yuuri closed his eyes as he squeezed every last drop from his bladder, Victor leaning against the doorframe, watching him.

He had no idea when his husband would allow him to use the toilet again, or even if he would. The prospect was both terrifying and exciting, and Yuuri’s heart was fluttering in his chest. He’d been doing holds for years, but the idea of sharing them with Victor was still nerve wracking, and giving over control completely? Yuuri loved it.

He padded back into the bedroom to grab his phone and check the time. Victor had ushered him out of bed and to the bathroom the moment his eyes had opened, probably keen to get him empty just so he could start filling him up again sooner. It was seven am, and Yuuri’s heart rate sped up again at the thought of the day to come. What would Victor do with him? _To_ him?

In the kitchen, Yuuri was confronted with two large glasses of water sitting on the bench. Victor was standing next to them, smirking. 

“Both of them. As fast as you can please.”

Yuuri gulped the first down without taking a breath, but the second was harder. He could feel his stomach bloating, and he had to take a break halfway through and slow down. Yuuri knew how much all the glasses held, so did Victor (It was vital information considering their interests). Those glasses each held 450 millilitres. Chugging nearly a litre of water so early in the morning was not easy. All things considered, Yuuri was actually rather proud of himself, even if Victor had raised an eyebrow as he paused to breathe.

“I’ll just let Makka out while you let that settle,” Victor said as he left the room, and Yuuri sat down heavily on one of the stools. Having a back yard for Makka was fantastic, it meant that they didn’t have to get dressed and walk her so early in the morning. Yuuri rubbed his stomach, trying to get it to stop feeling so full as he waited for Victor to come back, and he didn’t protest when Victor pulled him back to bed for more cuddles. 

Yuuri was happy to be the little spoon this time. He loved the feeling of Victor’s arms around him, and Victor’s hand was stroking his belly so softly, he wanted to stay feeling so warm, and comfortable, and loved forever. Yuuri signed contentedly and snuggled back against his husband. Before he even knew it, he was drifting off to sleep.

Yuuri woke up to a tingling sensation in his bladder; he needed to pee. It wasn’t too bad, he’d be able to hold it for ages, but he turned to wake Victor. It would be better for him to get started sooner rather than later. Victor just smiled up at him sleepily, his big blue eyes gazing at Yuuri like he was the most wondrous thing in the world. Yuuri didn’t quite understand why Victor thought he was so amazing, especially compared to him, but something inside him was very pleased that he alone could capture Victor’s complete attention. 

“What’s the time?” Victor’s voice was muffled by a yawn.

“Ten to ten,” Yuuri read from his phone. “We slept for nearly three hours.”

“Hm, three hours make you need to pee yet?”

“A little.”

Victor frowned at that, and Yuuri guessed that he’d been hoping for more than a little. Victor mumbled for him to stay in bed, so he did, and waited to be brought back another large glass. Drinking it down, he couldn’t help but do the calculation, and the idea that he’d drank 1,350 millilitres of water and would have to hold it all sent a shiver down his spine. 

Victor took the glass from him with a smirk, and told him to have a quick shower and get dressed; they were going for a walk. Having the shower was uncomfortable, but worse was sitting on the bed, trying to bend to tie his laces, listening to Victor’s shower. Finally getting them tied, he straightened up with a wince and headed out to sit in the lounge, away from all the running water. 

It took them forty minutes to get out of the house. First Victor couldn’t decide what to wear, then he couldn’t find his favourite socks, then he wanted to kiss Yuuri, because he hadn’t yet (and he was so sorry for neglecting such a vital responsibility of his), and then he wouldn’t stop, and Makkachin was being silly and wouldn’t let them put her on the lead, and-

It nearly did Yuuri’s head in trying to keep it all straight, and his bladder was steadily filling. He just wanted to go on the walk so that they could get back and he wouldn’t have to worry about being desperate in front of people. It wasn’t as bad in Japan in the off season as it had been in Russia, but there were still fans with cameras, and he really did not want a YouTube video of him looking clearly desperate to pee popping up any time soon, or ever. 

Yuuri was slightly exasperated but mostly relieved when Victor finally got out the door and locked up behind them. It was only a ten minute walk to the beach if they walked leisurely, and Makka couldn’t play for as long as she used to, so they didn’t often stay long. Yuuri was confident that he could last forty minutes comfortably. They wouldn’t take much longer than that. 

Victor lead the way to the beach, and Yuuri was happy to follow along. He was holding Makka’s lead, and the big pooch was pulling hard enough to almost pull Yuuri along with her. It was a lovely day, the sun was warm and the air was so refreshing. The walk passed all too quickly, and soon the three of them were trudging down onto the beach. 

There were quite a few people there, and even if there hadn’t been, Makka still wouldn’t have been allowed off lead. She looked so sad to be confined, and Victor clearly felt sorry for her, because the next minute he was turning to Yuuri.

“Why don’t you take Makka for a bit of a run? She could use it, and so could you.” Victor chose that moment to drive a finger into Yuuri’s side, poking the tiny bit of fat that he’d gained, and also causing his bladder to spasm sharply. Yuuri doubled over, trying to make it look like he was ticklish, and gasped. 

“You jerk, leave me alone!”

“So you’ll take her?”

“Fine.”

Yuuri set off at a jog, but Makka was having none of it, and pulled him along until he was running. Every step jolted his bladder, and he remembered why he’d stopped doing holds when he had to exercise. It was one thing to have a somewhat full bladder while doing step sequences and spins, but core training and running? No thank you. That was almost as bad as jumps. 

Yuuri and Makka ran for quite a while, as uncomfortable as he felt, Yuuri’s control was still incredible, and he would not go back to Victor after giving up. Victor had told him to run, so he would. When he really had had enough, he made his way back, panting slightly. Victor was relaxing on a log that he’d wiped the sand off. Yuuri noticed that he’d wiped a spot for him too, and sank down gratefully, tensing his thighs and letting his bladder finally settle a bit. He was really starting to feel the need, and was looking forward to getting home.

“Are you about ready to go, Vitya?”

“Actually, I was wondering if we could just sit here for a while.”

“Vitya, I-”

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready to go.”

Yuuri just stared at him. Victor was seriously going to make him sit here with over a litre of water having had plenty of time to make its way to his bladder? He felt a rush of excitement at the prospect, and turned back to watch the waves. The way they crashed against the sand looked like the way his piss was sloshing around inside his bladder, so he dropped his gaze to the sand in front of him, trying to ignore the sound. He just had to focus on hiding how much he really wanted, _needed_ , to pee until Victor took him home.

Easier said than done.

Half an hour passed before Victor stood up with a smile, bright and happy, and seemingly oblivious to the struggle going on inside Yuuri’s body. Yuuri’s thighs were touching, and he was as stiff as a statue. He new that anyone who looked at him would know that something was wrong, he just hoped no one would guess what. He was also incredibly grateful for the lack of cameras around.

He could feel sweat building up at the effort he was putting into remaining still, and he nearly gave in to his body’s intense need to squirm the instant he stood up. Every bit of his effort went into keeping him upright, his hands by his sides, and his legs uncrossed. Yuuri was truely on the brink of desperate, and he was at a crowded public beach. Oh Victor was so getting it when it was his turn.

The walk home was slow. Yuuri’s bladder ached and throbbed with every step. He still had control, and was in no danger of leaking, but his discomfort was bordering on pain, and the constant jarring was only making it worse. He had to stop a few times, reaching out and grabbing Victor’s arm to steady himself. By the time they were back on their street, it was only Victor’s arm around his waist that was keeping him moving. He just needed to stop walking, it was making him seriously doubt his ability to hold it.

Yuuri only managed to stand still as Victor fished for the keys at the front door by discreetly pinching himself through his trousers, a pinch that became a desperate grip the moment he was inside and the door closed behind him. Yuuri groaned as he twisted around himself, clutching desperately at his crotch as he fought to hold on. He didn’t even notice when Victor brushed passed him to the kitchen.

He did notice when Victor held a glass of water in front of his face.

“Vitya!” he hissed. “You can’t be serious!”

“Will you drink it, Yuuri?”

“I’m about to _burst_ , Vitya, I can’t.”

“Come a few more steps, Yuuri, into the living room. Then you won’t have to walk anymore.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Yuuri breathed. “Vitya-”

“Come on, Sweetheart, hold it for me?”

“O-okay.”

Victor took Yuuri by the hand and pulled him gently to the living room, where there were towels spread out on the floor. Helping him to sit down, he pushed the glass to Yuuri’s lips.

“Drink?”

Yuuri did. It was a smaller glass, but that still made it nearly five hours since he’d pissed, and one and a half litres of water. His bladder, strong as it was, was not going to last much longer. 

Yuuri followed Victor’s directions until he was lying on his back, towels positioned beneath him. He couldn’t stop a whine as Victor pulled at his legs until he was forced to spread them, and then knelt between them, keeping them apart. He clutched at himself through his jeans, but he knew he didn’t have long left.

“Ssh, ssh, you’re doing so well.”

“Vitya-” Yuuri moaned and turned his head away.

Victor turned it back with a finger, smiling softly. Then he trailed his finger down Yuuri’s cheek, neck, chest, and stopping directly above his bladder.

“Victor!”

“You can hold it. Hold it for me, Love?”

He pressed his finger down and Yuuri tensed, his legs squeezing around Victor. He nodded frantically, he’d hold it. He’d hold it until his his body gave in if that was what Victor wanted. He scrunched up his face in concentration, but his lips twitched as if to smile when he felt Victor lean forward and kiss his cheek.

“You’re doing so well, Love, I’m so proud of you. How are you feeling?”

“I’m so full, I’m going to burst-”

“Does it hurt, Love?”

“No. It did when I was walking, but not now.”

Victor smoothed his hand over Yuuri’s bulging bladder, and Yuuri gasped, a small spurt escaping. 

“Vitya, I can’t- it- it’s coming out!”

“Wait just a little longer?” Victor asked as he continued to rub Yuuri’s stomach. “You’re so beautiful like this.” Victor pulled back slightly, and traced his name over the swollen bump. “Mine,” he whispered, and traced it again, harder. “My perfect, beautiful, Yuuri. So desperate for me.”

“Vitya-” Yuuri started, but more pee spurted out, and he scrambled to undo his jeans and slip his hand inside, squeezing himself so tightly it hurt, just to hold on a bit longer. 

“Please, I need- I need-”

Victor pressed down hard, the heel of his palm digging down without mercy. Yuuri cried out and writhed in one final attempt to stay dry, but it was futile. 

“Let go, Sweetheart, let it out.”

Yuuri let go. He gasped in pleasure at the initial release, and then groaned. Warmth flooded his open jeans, and his hand lost its grip as every muscle in his body went lax. Victor was still rubbing his bladder, but gently, and his other hand was cradling Yuuri’s waist. 

Yuuri forced himself to open his eyes and look up at Victor. His husband smiled down at him, and Yuuri felt his cheeks heat. Victor never stopped rubbing his abdomen, and Yuuri could feel a warmth that had nothing to do with the piss still flowing out of him. God he loved Victor.

He forced the last few drops out with the help of Victor’s hand on his bladder, and just enjoyed the sensation of lying in a puddle of hot pee. Victor climbed off him, only to lie down next to him and pull him close. 

“I love you so much,” he said between kisses, and Yuuri giggled.

“Love you too.”

“I love you more.” 

Yuuri smirked as he forced Victor to make eye contact.

“I know.”

A gasp. Victor’s hand flew to clutch at his chest, right above his heart.

“Yuuri! You’re suppose to say, ‘No, I love _you_ more!’”

“Okay, okay, I love you more, Vitya.”

“I know.”

Yuuri burst out laughing. “You’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me?”

“Of course I do, you idiot.”

“Good, because the day’s not over yet.” Victor looked way too pleased with that.

“So what are you going to do to my poor bladder?”

“I don’t know yet, let’s get cleaned up while I think, ‘kay?”

Victor pulled Yuuri to his feet, wrapping his arms around his waist. Yuuri reached up around Victor’s neck and tilted his head to the side slightly. 

“Vitya?”

“Hm?”

“Be kind to me?” Yuuri asked softly, fluttering his eyelashes up at his husband. 

Victor only smirked. “I’ll consider it.”

“Kiss me?” He tilted his head up, hovering close to Victor’s face, eyes flickering down to his lips.

“You don’t even have to ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of their day doesn’t really fit anywhere. I know, I’m sad too. If there’s enough interest, I might write a one-shot for it. Feel free to leave ideas below.


	5. Closed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do bathrooms always have to be closed at the most inconvenient of times?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a day early so I can focus on the next chapter of Surrendering Further, I hope you enjoy.

Victor blinked up at the screen as he sipped at his soda. Well, it was Yuuri’s soda, but he was stealing some (not all, just some). He thought his Japanese had improved enough that he’d manage to understand some of the conversations. Apparently not. Apparently, Yuuri’s family and friends spoke extra slowly and clearly around him, which he was thankful for, but it didn’t prepare him to sit through a movie when he had no idea what was going on.

Yuuri had tried to whisper translations in his ear at the start, but he’d been shushed quickly by the woman sitting behind them, and he’d stopped, flushing red at the scolding. It had been cute, and Victor almost thought it was worth sitting through the movie to watch Yuuri’s face change with the scenes. Almost. He was still bored, and slightly grumpy (mostly with himself), and as final half hour began, he realised that maybe he shouldn’t have had so much of Yuuri’s soda. 

Pushing the nearly empty cup back into Yuuri’s hands, he settled down to wait. He could wait, he didn’t need to go that badly yet. 

By the time the movie finished, there was a definite tingle in his bladder, and he was definitely looking forward to ducking into the bathroom on his way out. He waited patiently while Yuuri insisted on watching the credits the whole way through. He knew Yuuri was just teasing him, no matter how many times he insisted it was important to acknowledge the actors and other film crew. He would moan about it later, but he really didn’t mind waiting, and they didn’t have to rush to their dinner reservation. It was only when they neared the bathrooms that Victor started to wish they had rushed out. 

There was a big sign on the door to the mens room. They were out of order. There was an apology, but an apology was not going to give Victor a chance to relieve himself, or give him time to rush home and back in time for dinner. Victor took a deep breath and smiled at Yuuri, who was clearly starting to worry for him.

“Shall we head to the restaurant?”

“You don’t want to go home first?” Yuuri’s hand in his was warm and comforting, and it squeezed his in concern, making Victor truly feel cared for and looked after. “They’ll give up our reservation, we don’t have time. I’ll be fine, love. Besides, I can go when we get there.”

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Of course the bathrooms at the restaurant were being renovated, it was just his luck, and Victor sat down at their table feeling just a little exasperated. How hard was it to find a place to piss? 

He pushed his need from his mind, determined to enjoy his dinner with Yuuri. It wasn’t very often that they were organised enough to go out for a date, and he knew that Yuuri was excited. He was excited too, really, he was, but the growing insistence of his bladder didn’t do much to help his mood as he pursued the menu. 

“Do you want me to order for you, Vitya? You seem too distracted to concentrate. Are you going to be okay?”

Victor nodded, “Please, and I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

“We can still leave.” Yuuri’s eyes seemed to stare into his soul.

“No, I want to stay.”

Yuuri nodded, and then smirked, his voice dropping. “Is it bad enough to need worrying about, or do you think we might be able to have some fun later?”

Victor shifted in his seat, becoming more and more aware of the soda he’d drank filtering into his bladder. He’d be fine, wouldn’t he? He’d been much more desperate than this in the past. He smiled across the table. “We’ll see.” 

Yuuri looked incredibly smug as he sipped at his water, and Victor couldn’t help but flush and drop his gaze. Even now they were married, Yuuri still managed to send shivers down his spine with the smallest look and heat pooling in his stomach at the twitch of his lips. Victor really needed to get a hold of himself. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to launch himself across the table. 

Victor’s bladder filled steadily over the course of the meal, and he could feel Yuuri’s eyes on him, watching him intently. He sat stiffly, his thighs creeping closer together as the minutes ticked by, and he found he had to consciously stop himself from biting his lip. He caught himself glancing towards the closed off corridor to the bathroom more than once, and it seemed that every time he looked back, Yuuri was smirking at him knowingly. His leg twitched involuntarily as his bladder pulsed inside him. He really needed to piss. 

As he finished his dinner, Victor suddenly became immensely grateful for the lack of dry or spicy food on his plate. He’d managed to eat everything and leave his water completely untouched, something his bladder was thanking him for as it pounded inside him. He shifted on his seat, finally giving in to the urge to rub his thighs together, and leant forward slightly. He didn’t expect it to squash his bladder as much as it did, and lent back quickly with a slight gasp. 

“Let’s not have desert,” he mumbled under his breath, and flushed darker when Yuuri’s foot nudged his under the table. “I want to go home, Yuuri.”

“Okay, love. I’ll take care of the bill.”

Standing up was far more difficult than it should have been, and it took all of Victor’s considerable body control and willpower to keep himself upright and looking reasonably casual. Yuuri took his elbow, and led him gently out to the street as he called a taxi. 

Victor shuffled his feet and bounced up and down slightly, conscious of the people walking around them and leaning into Yuuri in a subconscious attempt to hide. A wave of need crashed through him, and he froze in place, his eyes wide and horrified as he was _sure_ he felt a few drops escape. When did it get _that bad_? A small, pitiful whimper was the only sound he could make, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he forced himself to breathe and stay calm. Yuuri seemed to realise that his need had gotten much worse very quickly, his eyes were darting around and his grip on Victor tightened. 

“It’s all right, love. You can do it, I know you can.”

“Yuuri-” he started to deny, but the taxi chose that moment to pull up, and he was too busy trying to get in without making a mess of himself to worry about speaking. 

It was only a five minute drive back to their house, but five those five minutes were completely horrible. All enjoyment of the situation was gone. Victor fought back tears, determined to focus all his energy on holding on. The absolute _worst_ thing about his bladder was how unpredictable it could be, making him go from pleasurably full to completely desperate and about to burst in the space of a few minutes. 

He sat completely still, his whole body as stiff as a statue, his thighs pressed firmly together and Yuuri’s hand on his knee. Victor stared resolutely at the seat in front of him as he waited, everything in his body screaming at him to let go, but his mind screaming at him to hold on. He only had to wait a few more moments, just a few. He’d be fine. 

Every second felt like an eternity. Victor clenched his fists and grit his teeth as singular drops began to slowly leak out, no longer under his control. He would not hold himself in the back of a taxi, he would _not_! Victor’s hands flew to grab at his crotch as a bigger leak escaped, a small damp patch appearing. His cheeks flushed red as a tomato as he glanced frantically in the rearview mirror, trying to see if he was being watched. Humiliation coursed through him but he would not wet himself in the back of a taxi. 

By the time the taxi pulled up in their street, Victor was holding his breath, his eyes shut tight and his grip strong. _Nearly there, nearly there, nearly there_ , repeated in his head as he waited for Yuuri to pay and help him out. 

Another small flood released as his feet hit the ground, Victor just hoped it was too dark to see. There was no pee on the seat, but Victor didn’t have the time or ability to be thankful, he just shoved his hands deep in his pockets and made himself walk as naturally as possible to the front door as Yuuri supported him. Yuuri had the key out and ready, and Victor pulled a hand out to press more directly at his crotch, bending over slightly, legs shaking, only just managing to hold him up. Yuuri practically pushed him in the door and slammed it behind them. Victor didn’t make it two steps. 

He collapsed to the ground as the floodgates opened. Yuuri falling to his knees beside him, holding him close and rubbing his back. When the pain lessened and relief began to kick in, Victor could no longer hold back the tears, and he pressed himself against Yuuri as they ran down his face, his bladder still emptying. 

It took a while; longer than usual. Victor’s bladder ached, and he knew it would be weak for days. One of Yuuri’s hands massaged gently over his tender skin, and the other ran through his hair. The repetitive, tender motion was soothing, and Victor closed his eyes, leant into the touch, and relaxed. He’d made it. Well, _almost_. It was close enough. The floor wouldn’t be hard to clean, he wasn’t really in much pain, so he hadn’t hurt himself, and he hadn’t wet himself in public. Victor even allowed himself a smile as he felt Yuuri’s lips soft against his cheek. 

“You held on for so long, my love. I’m so proud of you. You did so well.” Yuuri pressed kiss after kiss to Victor’s face, until Victor turned his head at the last moment and caught his lips. Yuuri responded immediately, but pulled back quickly, eyes wide and worried. 

“Are you going to be okay?” 

Victor kissed him again. 

“I think I already am,” he paused. “Well, I definitely need a bath.”

“You’re not, _upset_?” Yuuri frowned.

“I am, love, but I’m okay. And I have you to look after me and help me feel better.”

Yuuri smiled softly at him, and gave him one last hug before helping him to his feet and pulling his shoes off. 

“We’d better strip here, we don’t want to leave a trail to the bathroom.”

Victor nodded and kicked off his shoes too, following Yuuri’s lead and striping from the waist down. They left their clothes in a pile on the tiles. A quick mop later would be all the cleanup necessary. The walk to the bathroom felt somewhat like a walk of shame, and Victor bowed his head to hide the flush in his cheeks. Wetting himself for Yuuri was one thing, but it was still embarrassing to have a complete accident. 

Yuuri’s hand pressed gently on the small of his back, reminding him that he wasn’t alone, and he felt a smile pull at his lips. Yuuri only rinsed off quickly, allowing Victor to linger under the hot water while he went to clean the mess and find them something to wear. Victor let the water soothe his slightly aching body, holding the detachable shower head over his abdomen, the heat spreading in deep and comforting. A few more spurts came out and he sighed, putting the shower head back and letting hot water run over his head. Hopefully it would help the headache he could feel forming. 

Victor only shut off the water when he looked up to see Yuuri leaning against the doorframe, smiling warmly at him. He smiled sheepishly back, and Yuuri’s smile grew. Victor bit his lip and flushed as Yuuri wrapped him in a fluffy towel, drying him off lovingly and helping him dress. Victor let him, even as he fought against his own embarrassment. He knew Yuuri had felt helpless all evening, and that letting him do this would comfort him. He would put up with almost anything to make Yuuri feel better, so he let his body go limp like a rag doll and enjoyed the feeling of being looked after. 

“Vitya?” Yuuri asked softly as they snuggled under the covers together later that night. 

“Hm?”

“Are you sure you're not upset?” 

Victor pulled him closer, holding him tight and burying his face in soft hair for a moment. 

“I’m sure,” he said. “I really hope it doesn’t happen again, because it was horrible, but I made it.” He paused for a moment. “Well, I made it far enough. Did you enjoy it?”

Yuuri rolled over to face him. “Only at the very start. Vitya, you know I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“I wasn’t in pain, not really. Yuuri, it’s only distressing while I’m in public. Next time, I want you to know that once we’re in the door, I’ll be fine. Once I’m safe at home, you’re allowed to enjoy it.” He didn’t want Yuuri to feel bad, if Yuuri liked it, he should feel comfortable about it. 

“Victor,” Yuuri’s voice was serious. “I only enjoy it when you do. I really don’t think that will change. Thank you for trying to reassure me, but when you’re in pain, or embarrassed, or in any way unhappy with the situation, then I am too. In times like this, I just want to take care of you. Will you let me take care of you?”

Victor was having a hard time not kissing his husband. His heart was ready to burst, it was so full of love, and he didn’t want to change the tenderness of the mood. He knew that if he gave in and kissed Yuuri, they wouldn’t be sleeping for a while. Instead, he smiled, a hand reaching to grasp Yuuri’s. 

“Only if you hold me tonight.”

“Like I’d ever say no to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave a comment below, I always love to hear what you think. Requests are also very welcome :)


	6. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor’s past comes back to haunt his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, because this is a memory/dream, Victor is a child. It’s not sexual, but if it makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip it.

Victor bit his lip and glanced up at his father from the corner of his eyes, he wanted to say something, but he knew there was no point. His mother walked stiffly on his other side, and he knew there would be no sympathy from her either. Why couldn’t they have just let him piss at the restaurant? What was their problem with public bathrooms? Sure, there had been people gawking at him all evening, and maybe his parents didn’t want him getting cornered in the bathroom, but the way things were going, there would be photos of him in wet pants on the front page by morning. 

Personally, Victor would rather piss in the bathroom in front of fans than piss his pants in front of them. He nibbled on his lip for a moment and held back a wince, but forced himself to keep walking. He didn’t really have a choice. There was no where he could go now, and he knew he wasn’t imagining the camera flashes of the crowd following them at a not so subtle distance. 

He nearly shoved his hands in his pockets as they waited to cross the last road before they reached their car, but he knew he would be scolded. He stood upright, he needed to look normal in those photos. He couldn’t help that his legs seemed glued together, to try and spread them now would spell out the end. 

All traces of his composure vanished as soon as the car door closed, Victor doubled over in his seat, his hands pressing down in his lap, his knees drawn towards his chest. His whole body was shaking. 

“Mama?”

“Hush, compose yourself.” Her voice was sharp, and a flush of shame rose to his cheeks. 

“But-”

“To think I started out the evening feeling proud.”

Victor felt as if a knife had been stabbed into his gut and twisted. He couldn’t stop the tiny whimper that caught in his throat. 

“Sit up straight, Viten’ka,” his father spoke coldly. “I am so ashamed of you, you are acting like a child.”

Victor blinked back tears. He struggled to sit straighter, but bowed his head so that his hair would hide his face. He didn’t want them looking at him. He didn’t want anyone looking at him. His legs were quivering, his bladder _ached_. He couldn’t remove his hands from his lap.

He didn’t squirm. He could feel his mothers eyes on him in the rearview mirror, and he was far too embarrassed. He breathed shallowly, holding his breath for bumps and turns. His seatbelt dug into his bladder, and he squeezed his legs tighter, pushing down harder. Victor’s tears were from pain as well, and his voice inside his head simply begged him to _hold on_.

He was helpless to stop the leaks as the crotch of his pants darkened, but he fought anyway, holding on to the last scraps of his dignity. He stared down at the wet fabric, his vision starting to blur. Even for that, he knew he would be punished. Maybe he should just give up? He was really starting to _hurt_ , and the last thing he wanted was to weaken his already pathetic bladder. 

Just as he was preparing to let go, the house came into view. His bladder jolted and sealed up, he couldn’t wet himself when he was this close. He took a breath and steeled himself, quickly wiping his eyes on his sleeve, and preparing himself to get out. 

The walk to the front door was agony. Victor put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and pulled it down to try and cover the patch, but it didn’t do all that much, and to make things worse, he’d started to leak again. As he stood in front of the door, his father seeming to be deliberately slow with the key, he felt the last of his dignity fall to shreds, and his hands flew to his crotch as he danced in place. 

The door clicked open, and his mother’s hand grabbed his shoulder and shoved him forward. He stumbled into the hallway, one hand coming up to catch himself against the wall, and his bladder control failed him. Victor only just managed to hold back a moan of relief as he flooded his pants in front of his parents and the wide open door. His brain vaguely registered a bang as it slammed closed, but he was too focused on the lessening pressure and pain inside him, and he closed his eyes in pleasure. 

When he opened them again, it was to see Yuuri’s face hovering above his. The sheets were warm and wet around him.

“Vitya, love, wake up honey.”

He blinked, confused for a moment. A dream, it was only a dream. Some of the humiliation still swirled in his belly, and he rolled over with a groan and buried his head in his pillow. He mumbled sorry a few times, but Yuuri probably couldn’t hear him. 

A gentle hand stroked through his hair, and he slowly turned his head, a flush heating his cheeks. Yuuri smiled softly at him, and kissed his forehead. 

“Come on, you need a shower, and I need to change the sheets.” His voice was soft, and Victor’s eyes fluttered closed. He was starting to feel cold and icky, but it was infinitely better than the intense desperation of his dream. He was exhausted, and all he wanted to do was curl up with Yuuri and sleep. 

“ _Vitya_ ,” Yuuri drew out his name the way he loved, and he smiled. Yuuri laughed lightly. “Shower. Now. I promise we can cuddle after.” Victor blushed again at his predictability and peeled back the covers to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. By the time he got back, washed and redressed in his favourite pyjamas, Yuuri had stripped and remade the bed, and was curled up under the covers. 

Vitya climbed in and turned his back to Yuuri. “Hold me?” he asked, and snuggled down further as he felt Yuuri’s arms wrap around him and his face nuzzling into his neck.

“Hey,” Yuuri spoke softly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

“Hey,” Victor responded, he knew what Yuuri was wondering. “I’m fine, love. It was just a bad dream.” He felt Yuuri lift himself up on his arms to look down at him, and he rolled onto his back to peer up into Yuuri’s eyes. 

“You’re having nightmares?” Yuuri looked so upset on his behalf, and Victor actually stated to feel guilty for telling him. He pushed the thought down, Yuuri would be more upset if he thought Victor was hiding things to protect him. 

“Just the one, I promise. It was probably because of tonight.” 

Yuuri’s hand drifted down to rub his stomach. “Are you sore?”

“A little bit, but it was more the memories. I had a bad experience being desperate while out for dinner when I was young. My parents took me out to celebrate gold, but paparazzi were following us, so they didn’t want me to go to the bathroom.”

“They didn’t let you?” Yuuri was horrified, and Victor shook his head, _actual memories_ of the _real event_ filling his head. Out of the throws of a nightmare, it really hadn’t been that bad. 

“My parents were often mean to me, and in a way they bullied me because of my bladder. They would _never_ torture me by denying me relief, they weren’t cruel. They convinced me that I would be better to wait, and maybe they were right. I spent the drive home wondering if I was even going to make it, but I did, and Mama even hugged me. She was never really one for physical affection, but she hugged me, and sent me to bed with a kiss on the head and a smile. It’s a strong memory for me because of that. I know Papa was unimpressed by my squirming in the car, but Mama was proud, and that was enough.”

Victor pushed himself up on his elbows to kiss Yuuri’s cheek, and wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him down into his arms. 

“I’m not upset, I know you aren’t disgusted, and I know the horrid things in my dream were simply parts of the nightmare. I don’t want to go into details, but I promise if this becomes a reoccurring thing I’ll talk to you about it, okay?”

Yuuri didn’t speak, he just nodded and kissed him, pressing himself against Victor’s body and showing his support and love in a way that couldn’t be misunderstood. After a few minutes of kissing and petting, Yuuri pulled away and smiled down at him. 

“I’m so proud of you, you’ve been so strong. I’m so sorry for last night, I should have insisted we leave sooner.”

Victor shook his head, he wouldn’t have Yuuri blame himself.

“It was fine, a little embarrassing, and maybe distressing, but nothing too bad happened. I know we both enjoyed it at the start.”

“You know I loved it.”

“I’m sleepy, cuddle with me now?”

“Of course, Vitya.”

They lay in silence, listening to each other’s breathing, feeling each other’s warmth. After a little while Yuuri spoke up.

“I’ve um, I’ve been thinking about… maybe doing a hold soon.” He paused, but Victor was pretty sure there was more he wanted to say. “Maybe in public?” There it was.

“In public, would you like that?” He knew he would. If it was Yuuri.

“It adds an extra level of excitement. You’ll really be able to tease me.”

“That’s true, I do really like it when you blush.”

“Just, I don’t want to wet myself, okay? Just a hold this time.”

“You just let me know when. I’ll be looking forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a little bit later than usual, I haven't been feeling well :(
> 
> If you liked it, please leave kudos and a comment, and like always, suggestions and requests are welcome. I'll try to squeeze them in wherever I can.


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